i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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