My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
