remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's just like the Real World with babies
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
