They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
