Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
