you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
