marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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