I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
