I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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