I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
