The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
