i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
