he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
