This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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