i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
