Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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