You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
