Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize