Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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