I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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