just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
