D3 body, D1 cock
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
