I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
