they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
