Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
