Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
