I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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