Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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