I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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