I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
