Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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