I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
