Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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