You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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