Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
