im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
