yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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