I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
