Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize