peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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