I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
