that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
