I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
