I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize