I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
