he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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