a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I need help removing her.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
