the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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