So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
