Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
