Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wannas sexs uuuuu
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
