You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
