Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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