peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
