I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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