the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We have started to decorate penises.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize