it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
