were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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