Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i've created a new STD.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize