Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
